I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
There's even glitter on my cock...
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