Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
