In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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