normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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