Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
