you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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