hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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