He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need to calm my uterus...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
