Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize