The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just sucked dick on a ferry
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
