whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
