She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
