She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
what is it with giant penises always finding me
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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