I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
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Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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