My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
