Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
