Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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