The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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