all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
