Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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