I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize