Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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