I need help removing her.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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