she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
