Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
