Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
