dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
