i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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