Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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