It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
