You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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