so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I love you. Go after that dick
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
