You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
