So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
