dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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