I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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