he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
