Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
