That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
