I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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