I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
