the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
