i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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