Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
