is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
