the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Can Purell be used as lube?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
