If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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