What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
