i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize