He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
