She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
