so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
