He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
