How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
