every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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