Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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