i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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