Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
