it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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