He uses pillows to masturbate.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
