After last night, I could never be a politician.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
