I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize