what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
